Two Christmas Babies!

Sorry for my absence, I haven't had anything too exciting to blog about until recently but it's true! We are expecting twins! Due December 24. Both babies look great! Both measuring on time and sweet strong little heartbeats. Could it be true? Could all my dreams be coming true? Gosh, I am so elated to be carrying two babies! I think about their gender all the time. Rob wonders if they talk to each other in there. Haha! They probably don't know about each other yet! I am so in love already. Please don't wake me up from this dream. 

I will try to blog once per week... I love the idea of looking back on my thoughts and symptoms. 

Here they are! Two little beans! You can mostly see the sac and that's because the baby is at a different angle and it was tricky to get them both on screen.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 8 weeks

Size of Babies: the babies are the size of raspberries

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm thinking about 8lbs but my IVF nurse says I am bloated from my ovaries still. 

Maternity Clothes: Loving them!  Capris, jeans, khakis... It's all I wear. Comfy!

Movement: None yet!

Sleep: I could sleep for days.. I wake up 2-4 times per night to pee. No big deal though.

What I Miss: energy and caffeine 

Cravings: Red sauces, creamettes and tomatoes. YUM! Pizza, speghetti, noodles... Anything carbs!

Symptoms: Indigestion and heartburn. I feel sea sick or hungover all the time and dashes of nausea. Today, I called in sick from a migraine. Ugh

Best Moment of the Week: A few things actually. Rob tells me I look good carrying two babies and that makes me feel great! Also, the school secretary high-fived me when she heard we were having twins! Loved that! Thanks Jill! Her sister happens to be the awesome nurse at my OB office and I look forward to seeing her more often!

Very Bad News

After 4 years of TTC.  We finally got our BFP via IVF.  We were so excited.  We had all these plans to decorate the nursery, announce on facebook, enjoy Halloween while pregnant.  I was looking forward to growing a big baby belly.  DH and I discussed names and we SO excited to be parents together...  Now it's all over. 

 

We went in for our 7 week ultrasound yesterday and there was no heartbeat.  We are broken. 


I'm angry.  I feel SO inferior to friends who have children and/or are pregnant.  I feel like I have no one to turn to because no one understands what this feels like.  I have been isolating myself from people who care about me because I just can't face them, they don't understand me or my feelings and they don't know what I am going through.  There is nothing anyone can say to make this pain go away.  I am in a hell. 

How the hell am I supposed to decide to physically scrape my baby out or allow my body to scrape it?  Either way, it was a baby and my heart aches for my baby.  I waited patiently for this baby and now I have nothing.  My dreams are shattered.  I allowed myself to be happy; I let my guard down for this baby and what a lesson I have learned.

How did I get here again? 

5 weeks!

Pregnant!!

Hello friends!

It's been a while but I wanted to update you all. I tested with a pregnancy test a tad early (woops!) and shockingly was positive!

Both blood tests came out good! HCG levels are rising. Slowly but rising. I am eating lots of protein!

Rob and I have been shopping for nursery furniture already! So much fun!

Don't get me wrong, I have days where I am scared as heck that I will lose this little bubsie but friends have helped me along and for now, taking it day by day! I'm trying to enjoy this while I can!

Muah! Happiest I have been my whole life is right now.

PUPO!

Hi friends!  Sorry for my delay...  We had 10 eggs fertilize!  We decided to transfer 2 embryos and we had 3 to freeze!

 

I am officially 3dp5dt!!  (3 days past a 5 day transfer) which means I am PUPO!  Pregnant unless proven otherwise.  Woohoo!  I had 2 days of bed rest which was nice day 1 and then it grew old.  I cannot thank my bestie named Emily for creating 2 fabulous meals for us while I was on bed rest.  She's a saint!!!  Love her.

 

 

Here are our two embryo-babies. 

Rob says the top one is a boy and the bottom is a girl.  They are both 6-7AA embryos (top grade!) yeah! 

 

The above photo makes me PUPO!  Can you see the little embryo's in my uterus?  Little blobs on the far left!  This is the closest I have ever been to pregnant.  Please stick little babies!

XOXO!!!

 

 

 

Finally, Egg Retrieval!

Today went well as expected!  Let me start by saying that this cycle has been completely different.  Less shots, less dosages and less days.  My Estrodiol levels were much lower than the last cancelled cycle.  I think I barely got to 3,000 at retrieval and last cycle was over 10,000. 

This morning was early.  We got up at 4am to start our almost 2 hour drive and I was nervous.  When we arrived, they were ready for us and my favorite nurse was taking care of me.  Tiffany.  I love her.  She was the only nurse that consoled me when my last cycle was cancelled. 

Everything went fast.  I was given an IV with yummy cocktails and before I knew it, I was back in the recovery chair.  It was over.  They retrieved 22 eggs!!!  Thank you ovaries for being so cooperative.

When I got in the car, Rob said "we are making 22 babies!" WOAH!  That's plenty of follicles.

When I got home, I slept most of the day.  I was exhausted from the medications. 

Tomorrow I will learn the fertilization rate.  Come on big numbers!  Tomorrow also starts the day of progesterone shots with the big needle in the butt.  YOUCH! 

Stay tuned for tomorrow's report!

Monday, I will be PUPO!  Gosh, that sounds incredible. 

Nathaniel

Meet Nathaniel Merrell!  He's is 15 months old and full of joy!  He is the happiest baby and melts my heart. 

I don't usually play with black and white but I thought I would give it a try.

Enjoy!

This photo is my favorite!  I finally caught him looking and smiling!  So sweet.