After 4 years of TTC.
We finally got our BFP via IVF.
We were so excited. We had all
these plans to decorate the nursery, announce on facebook, enjoy Halloween
while pregnant. I was looking forward to
growing a big baby belly. DH and I
discussed names and we SO excited to be parents together... Now it's all over.
I'm angry. I feel SO inferior to friends who have children and/or are pregnant. I feel like I have no one to turn to because no one understands what this feels like. I have been isolating myself from people who care about me because I just can't face them, they don't understand me or my feelings and they don't know what I am going through. There is nothing anyone can say to make this pain go away. I am in a hell.
How the hell am I supposed to decide to physically scrape my baby out or allow my body to scrape it? Either way, it was a baby and my heart aches for my baby. I waited patiently for this baby and now I have nothing. My dreams are shattered. I allowed myself to be happy; I let my guard down for this baby and what a lesson I have learned.
How did I get here again?
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